For weeks, I had been having a recurring dream. It wasn’t always exactly the same, but it was always about the same thing. In my dream, a young girl had gone missing and no one knew where she was or even if she was alive or dead. Efforts to find her had led nowhere.
Hindsight is 20/20 and, in looking back at these recurring dreams, I now realize that this dream represented a part of my soul that I had lost. In shamanism, there is a process called Soul Retrieval whereby a shaman goes searching for the lost soul part in order to retrieve and restore it. A soul part can become “lost” as a result of trauma, whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. For a child, a fright can cause this separation. The shaman journeys to other worlds, other dimensions, using the beat of the drum to access different brain waves and a different level of consciousness. Once the shaman finds the missing soul part, it is invited to return. It brings spiritual gifts back with it and then some sort of ceremony or celebration is given to mark the return.
For weeks I had often been waking in the morning with the sensation of a small spot of darkness under my ribs that I felt as fear in my body. I couldn’t place where the emotion was coming from, but was quickly able to raise my vibration to one of joy and anticipation with which I prefer to greet my morning. In hindsight, I recognize that this darkness was fear and worry resulting from the recurring dream. Where was the girl? Did someone take her? Did she run away? Was she still alive? Would we ever find her? On a subconscious level, I may have been wondering whether the part of me that I had lost was gone forever. And, if I was able to find it, would it still be retrievable? Or had a part of me died?
One morning towards dawn, which is when I tend to have the dreams that I am most likely to remember, once again I had the dream. As always, it took place on the farm where I grew up. I was in the farmhouse and people were excited because they had heard her, the missing girl! “OMG, she’s still alive!” I shouted and took off running towards the barn. “You heard her, you actually heard her?” I queried all the people who were searching. Yes, they had heard her muffled cry or maybe it was a moan, but they couldn’t quite locate where it was coming from. They were digging under leaves and under the muddy ground. They searched under the farm equipment, under the cement floors. Where was she? Then I looked up and I saw a bulge in the ceiling and knew it was her. She was in the hayloft above and was pushing her way out through the floor/ceiling. (You know dreams don’t have to make total sense, right?) Quickly we climbed to the hayloft and dug her out from underneath the hay bales. The lost girl, my lost soul part, had been found!
What occurred next in the dream/half waking state was the process of reintegration. As a child, I had often played in the hay barn, jumping in the loose hay, purposely building tunnels with the bales, or finding secret hidey-holes formed during stacking of bales at harvest time, perfect hiding places for games of hide and seek. Why had the girl hidden here? It was an exciting place to stay out of sight from everyone. It was also safe, a place to retreat to in times of fear. It was her refuge but, over time, she preferred to be there, to feel safe, rather than to venture out into the world that could, at times, feel scary. Perhaps there was a real fright that sent her into the sanctuary, or perhaps her fears became distorted, larger than life. Regardless, she stayed in hiding.
In my dream, I invited the lost girl to come home with me again. I felt her step into me, filling me, slowly, from my feet up to my head. It was as if this girl was a shell within my shell: we were like stacked babushka dolls. I asked what ceremony we could do to seal our union and understood that a Bowen procedure was required, specifically, Coccyx-Neck procedure. This specialized procedure is often used to address whiplash or other neck issues. During Bowen SP1 training in the psat, I received Coccyx-Neck procedure and it was profound! What I experienced back then was a sensation as if I had been turned around inside and was looking out from within myself with different eyes, as a different person! With the lost girl now inside me, we were, indeed, looking out with different eyes and this procedure would unify us once again.
So that is the Bowen link to this story. You might still be wondering what any of this has to do with Reconnective Healing. Again, through hindsight, I realized that this healing had been unfolding for a while. Check out my Reconnective Healing video on hiding. (Coming out of hiding and stepping more fully into life are the gifts that the lost girl brought back to me.) Also, the day prior to this soul retrieval dream, I had done several Reconnective Healing sessions for people and these were some of the most profound experiences yet with this work! Remember that with Reconnective Healing, you “heal others, heal yourself”. The more I open the door for others to access these healing frequencies, the more I heal myself. Delightfully self serving!
Another piece of my puzzle has fallen into place. I can’t say it is the final puzzle piece or that healing is complete, because true healing is about personal evolution and life progress which will always continue to unfold. Enjoy the journey!